When all this started, back at the first cycle of chemo, I knew I was incredibly lucky, and kept saying so, to have only minimal side effects, but if I'm honest, there was also a little bit of me that was congratulating myself on being resilient and robust and positive and somehow tougher than I ever expected. Well, as the Good Book says (does it? or is this from somewhere else?) 'pride goeth before a fall'.
As each cycle went past, I was aware that it was taking my body longer to bounce back. I should, of course, have expected this and, in my head, I did, but your heart says 'no, it will be fine, just the same'. So, when it isn't, you feel a little hard done by. Being now definitely on the up side of cycle four, I thought I would reflect on it.
The side effects were definitely a little worse. I was totally exhausted and on days five to ten (counting chemo day as Day 1) I slept for more than eighteen hours. I am sure this was compounded by the bone marrow stimulating injections, and by the fact that I was trying to do too much. Your body soon tells you that it is NOT prepared to go the extra mile. There was one dreadful evening when I even forgot to feed poor Molly. Happily, she survived the experience and appears to have forgiven me. There were also new side-effects, like nose-bleeds, which I put down to my marrow taking longer to bounce back and my platelets probably being a little low. We shall find out on Tuesday. I pray that they are not so low that I need to postpone chemotherapy. I now really feel that the end is in sight and I would be upset if it had to be postponed.
On the up side, my hair does not appear to be getting any worse, and I have developed a singularly stylish 'comb-over'! It looks worse when it is wet, so I now ensure that I only wash it on days when I am not expecting visitors. Unfortunately, the initial weight loss has not been maintained, but I intend to really try again this week. I'd like to look better for Christmas.
Then there is Christmas, and I am catering here, which I adore. So I am happily planning menus and changing them regularly. It is only three meals (Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas Day lunch and a possible evening snack) but I want it to be perfect. It's been years since they've agreed to come to me. It is an interesting conundrum, what to serve. One person dislikes meat of all sorts, another adores steak but isn't heavily into turkey. I'm thinking home made prawn curry on Christmas Eve (I make my own - no take aways or packets!) and then variety on Christmas Day so that everybody can have what they want. I can feel lots of practice sessions coming on. I hope my friends don't mind being guinea pigs!!
No comments:
Post a Comment