Computer Chaos?

I was listening to Radio 4 (as I so often do) and heard somebody saying that research had demonstrated that successful and productive people had tidy desks. Untidy desks were likely to be associated with lack of productivity and general uselessness (I don't think that is the phrase he used, but it was clearly what he meant). I pondered this. What did this say about me, if anything, and could the research be flawed?

I have, now, to confess that every desk at which I sit is a tip. Currently, I have three desks: home, job 1 and job 2. Job 2 is a hot desk, so is reasonably tidy. The others are atrocious. The desk for Job 1 is covered in papers, most of them with scribbled notes. I know what they mean, and the issues get dealt with in order. If I walk under a bus, nobody else will have a clue.

My desk at home is a totally different affair. There are few papers, but there are pens, and scissors, and treat bags for Molly, and calling cards, and forgotten gifts, and post-it notes, and stamps waiting to go to charity, and abandoned phones, and wires, and CDs, and, and, and. In other words, total chaos, which Molly adores and plays with, thus making the confusion worse.

'QED' I hear you cry. But it is not so. The reality is, that I can always find everything on my desk. It is clear to me why things are where they are and I have no difficulty. This is NOT the case with my computer files. Here, I have been careful: everything is organised, tagged, filed in the right place - AND I CAN NEVER FIND THE ONE I WANT!!!! Perhaps I ought to try chaos in the computer files as an alternative? Has anybody else tried that?

So Close to Disaster

You will have gathered by now that I am very fond of Molly Cat, even if I am the most useless cat owner. I have learned a lot in the last nine months, and we get on very well now. Admittedly, we haven't completely cracked the food thing (I never know what and when she will eat) and she still makes it perfectly clear that she would love to go and explore the great blue yonder. However, we are generally happy and I love her dearly.

Now, as it happens, next week is Selection Centre week, and I have to be in Loughborough from Monday to Wednesday. Last Wednesday I was contemplating this while playing with Molly, trying to make decisions about what to take, when horror descended on me. I suddenly realised that I had made no arrangements for Molly. How could this have happened? How could I have been so completely useless?

Answer came there none. I do not know why I did not realise. But the truth is, that I had to sort something out. And fast. I am lucky: both my cleaner and my other assistant were prepared to help. In the end, there will be somebody here all the time. But it is a good lesson: I must not forget that Molly Cat needs sorting out if I am going away! It isn't just holidays that need arranging. Sorry Molly!

Feeling Wanted and Useful

As you will know if you have read my other posts, the NHS is being radically altered, and Public Health is being dismantled (no point in pulling punches at this stage) by the Health and Social Care Act. All through last year, the fight to save the NHS kept me going. I worked ridiculous hours, often till 2 or 3 in the morning then up again at 6. I wrote letters, sent emails, drafted papers.  When the Bill became an Act, I was devastated, but I did not realise the totally negative effect it had had upon me. Indeed, it is only now that I am beginning to comprehend the reality and to wish to comment on this.

What I had failed to realise was how deeply I had imbibed the constant message that we in Public Health had failed. Added to that, as transition came closer, more and more of what I did was dismantled. I do Health Services Public Health - NHS facing - and that is not popular with our new masters, the Local Authorities.  I felt as if my entire working life had been wasted. Essentially, unrealised by me, I felt a total failure.

Then, at the end of 2012, a job came up at a University. I adore teaching and training. To me, there is no more important task than passing on the torch to the next generation. We need to enthuse, to excite, to enthral. Sadly, I had never had the credentials for an academic job; and, anyway, I did not really want to spend all my life doing research - I wanted to do both teaching and research. Suddenly, here was the perfect job - a good balance between research and teaching, working with colleagues I knew and respected, in an institution I was impressed by. I wanted that job. Badly.

I applied. I waited. I was called for interview. The interview was daunting, but I felt I had not totally disgraced myself. Then it went quiet. For days. I got increasingly nervous. On Christmas Eve, I was offered the job. To say I am ecstatic about it is to seriously undersell my reaction. As I start to meet people and to understand the job better, my whole life seems more interesting. Suddenly, I want to get up in the morning.

That was the realisation that came to me today. For the first time in months, I believe that I can make a real contribution, that I have something to offer. I am feeling wanted and useful. I cannot tell you how that feels: the total relief and sense of purpose. And I realised that, for so many, they never have that feeling, and that is soul-destroying. We need to take more notice of people's need to be needed. It is an intrinsic human trait. We all accept that long-term unemployment is bad for people, but so is working in a job that people do not perceive to make a contribution. The contribution does not have to be ground breaking, but we all need to feel wanted and useful. Employers and Government would do well to remember that.