I'm Bored of being Ill

I got cancer. Back in June 2013, I faced the diagnosis and decided I could cope. The surgery was scary, but soon over. The chemotherapy was hard, but there was a sense of achievement at not succumbing to it. I may have felt like an exhausted pin cushion, but I was still standing and laughing. It took a rather disappointing length of time to recover from that, and I was much more tired over Christmas than I expected, but I was still able to entertain others and to enjoy myself. I was pleased with the meals I served up. Came 2014, and I started radiotherapy:  a doddle by comparison, but still very tiring.  Nevertheless, there was comfort in seeing the radiotherapist every day. Then it was over.

Suddenly, I was on my own. There are still appointments to go to, but they are few and far between. 'Let us know if anything worries you' they said. And they sent me home, and back to work. So I grinned, gritted my teeth, and went back to work. And promptly fell ill. Where I had carefully protected myself from infection throughout the last four months, suddenly I was prey to every germ going. Rapidly, I developed a minor sore throat: nothing that would normally have bothered me. The cold that followed can only be described as minor in the extreme. It wiped me out. I spent three days almost unable to get out of bed. Three weeks later, I am still coughing and sneezing. Huh!

Then there are the muscle pains. At least, I assume that is what they are. My entire right side hurts; every muscle is sore; my leg aches. And now I have hurt my foot. Don't ask - it's a boring story. Suffice it to say that the foot feels as if it has gone through a mangle. I hobble about, feeling rather sorry for myself. Everything feels like rather too much trouble.

So, I'm sorry, but I'm bored of being ill. I want to get back to normal. I want to be able to do the things I did before. But, as I was told as a child, I want doesn't get. So, I try to possess my soul in patience and pray for acceptance. In the meantime, I'm dieting, and trying to exercise, and re-learning how to use make-up, and planning a party, and planning holidays. Oh no, I'm not giving up yet. Did you think I would? Surely not? What would Molly say?