Feeling Wanted and Useful

As you will know if you have read my other posts, the NHS is being radically altered, and Public Health is being dismantled (no point in pulling punches at this stage) by the Health and Social Care Act. All through last year, the fight to save the NHS kept me going. I worked ridiculous hours, often till 2 or 3 in the morning then up again at 6. I wrote letters, sent emails, drafted papers.  When the Bill became an Act, I was devastated, but I did not realise the totally negative effect it had had upon me. Indeed, it is only now that I am beginning to comprehend the reality and to wish to comment on this.

What I had failed to realise was how deeply I had imbibed the constant message that we in Public Health had failed. Added to that, as transition came closer, more and more of what I did was dismantled. I do Health Services Public Health - NHS facing - and that is not popular with our new masters, the Local Authorities.  I felt as if my entire working life had been wasted. Essentially, unrealised by me, I felt a total failure.

Then, at the end of 2012, a job came up at a University. I adore teaching and training. To me, there is no more important task than passing on the torch to the next generation. We need to enthuse, to excite, to enthral. Sadly, I had never had the credentials for an academic job; and, anyway, I did not really want to spend all my life doing research - I wanted to do both teaching and research. Suddenly, here was the perfect job - a good balance between research and teaching, working with colleagues I knew and respected, in an institution I was impressed by. I wanted that job. Badly.

I applied. I waited. I was called for interview. The interview was daunting, but I felt I had not totally disgraced myself. Then it went quiet. For days. I got increasingly nervous. On Christmas Eve, I was offered the job. To say I am ecstatic about it is to seriously undersell my reaction. As I start to meet people and to understand the job better, my whole life seems more interesting. Suddenly, I want to get up in the morning.

That was the realisation that came to me today. For the first time in months, I believe that I can make a real contribution, that I have something to offer. I am feeling wanted and useful. I cannot tell you how that feels: the total relief and sense of purpose. And I realised that, for so many, they never have that feeling, and that is soul-destroying. We need to take more notice of people's need to be needed. It is an intrinsic human trait. We all accept that long-term unemployment is bad for people, but so is working in a job that people do not perceive to make a contribution. The contribution does not have to be ground breaking, but we all need to feel wanted and useful. Employers and Government would do well to remember that.