Today, for the first time since my surgery, I actually went IN to work: i.e. I got into my car, drove to the new premises at Ruddington, talked to people, caught up, and attended meetings. How do I feel about this?
Simple answer - I don't know. I have ambivalent feelings. Arriving was strange. I had never been to the new premises and realised that I did not know how to get into the staff car park. I had to phone in to find out. A surreal experience: 'Please Miss, how do I come to work?' When I got in to the building, they had to tell me the codes, where to go, where everybody sat. Even more strange. However, there was the major upside: people seemed so pleased to see me. No, that's churlish. People WERE so pleased to see me. It was lovely. I felt warm and wanted and needed.
I was amazed at how quickly I walked back into role. There were clearly things that needed doing. I was going to do them. I moved from person to person, gleaning information, ensuring I had a clear picture. I now have a list of things I am going to pursue. Remember the resolution that I wasn't going to work ridiculous hours? Hmmmmm!!!
Of course, the fact that I am still receiving radiotherapy meant that I had to leave at 16.30, which was possibly a good thing. Radiotherapy took longer than usual (for some reason, they had problems lining me up with the machine). I finally got home at almost 18.00. Molly had been alone for hours. I thought she would be cross. She isn't. She's clingy and cuddly and affectionate. I like her this way.
So, I'm back. It will take a while to get completely up to speed, but I can feel it happening. I enjoyed being out of the house, and going in to work, and being productive. I need to be careful that I don't fall back into bad habits. But as I type I have a rather silly smile on my face. This could be a good thing.
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