WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GO VIRAL?

I try. Really, I try. I write what I believe to be entertaining and well-written posts. I try and write regularly, although when I have been unwell this has not always happened. But, with the best will in the world, 33 views cannot be described as viral. What am I doing wrong?

There are some things I know I'm missing. I don't write about sex, for a start. Well, would you? I'm almost 60. I live alone. I am hugely overweight, not helped by the steroids (legal ones) and the lack of exercise over the last five months. My body has just been poisoned. What sex?

I don't do drugs - well, not illegal ones anyway, and I doubt if anybody would be interested in the pleasures of anti-sickness pills, or the variability between cytotoxic drugs. Even if they were, I want to put all that behind me. As for the alcohol, all I am prepared to say is that there is no truth to the suggestion that you have to give it up during chemotherapy.

Rock and roll? Never, I'm afraid. Not even in my not very mis-spent youth. I always preferred the classics and the opera. Indeed, I could bore on for England about the opera. Do you remember Bernard Levin's brilliant columns in the Times, in days of yore? Would that I had that level of ability. His description of the disaster at Wexford had me sobbing with laughter (it is the last chapter in one of his books, if you haven't read it).

I'm not consistent. I think this may be a mistake. However, I would be bored writing about the same thing all the time, so I flutter about. Too bad.

I suspect I am too polite and too grammatically correct. Well, I'm sorry, but I grew up worrying about the placement of a comma. I cannot bear the mis-placed apostrophe. I got three copies of Lynne Truss's 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves' when it came out, and I still chuckle over the title. (I gave two of them away - I hope the recipients found them educational, although I have seen no evidence of this).

So, what to do? Well, I fear I am just going to keep plugging away, much helped by Molly Cat, and hope that something gives. In the mean time, she sends her love.