This week I had a tattoo

Now, I never thought I would be saying that, but it's true. On Tuesday, I had two tattoos. Me!!! I arrived and was asked to wait. I sat, rather nervously, in the waiting room, until I was called in to the room. Then they did it.

Alright, I'll 'fess up. This was no ordinary tattoo. I went for my radiotherapy planning meeting. Nowadays, they use tattoos rather than pens. It seems to work rather better. So, what actually happened?

I arrived at the clinic a few minutes early. They were expecting me, professional, kind. I waited a few minutes, then a radiotherapist arrived to talk me through the procedures and ensure I was comfortable. So far so good.  A little while later, I was called into the radiotherapy room where they 'set you up' i.e. they make sure that all the lasers line up for your treatment. Good idea, and no problem - if you're a size 8!

They told me to sit on the table/couch and 'put my bottom between the two markers'. Huh! Not my bottom, I have to say. Considerable tweaking later, I was able to fit. Major embarrassment all round. The next stage was to lie back: I was just able to do that, but I dread to think about less able people. The radiographers can't help you - apparently, it is too risky to their backs and so not allowed. Quite right too.

Eventually, I was positioned. Now, my arm had to go into the relevant stirrup. I was grateful that I had kept the exercises up - no problem there. They told me to keep still, and they all disappeared. Suddenly, I started to move. Laser beams came at me. I wondered if I was taking part in a new Star Wars film. I kept breathing normally (that's what I was told to do) and hoped for the best. Apparently, it was fine. They returned.

"Get up" they said. I was lying flat, on a narrow 'bed'. I reached for a hand: 'not allowed'. It took a couple of goes, but I was quite pleased with myself. It will take about half an hour, they  said, then we can do the tattoos and you can go home. Not likely! Over an hour later, I was called back. However, I now have two tattoos (the size of pin heads) and I am set up for my first radiotherapy session. Watch this space.